On line dating-a brief rant

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On line dating-a brief rant

Do you know what the number one adjective on Plenty of Tinder Christian Cupid Match.com profiles is…? “Honest.” Seriously. Couldn’t I just assume that you’re not a pathological liar? That you actually are truthful. Doesn’t that seem to set the bar extraordinarily low? “Hey, I’m a breather, who won’t lie to you much, I have a head and arms.” Jesus, where has this guy been all my life!?
The second most frequent descriptor is “laid back”. Now I’m not totally down with the vernacular of dating site profiles, but that just sounds like “lazy” or ” frequently could not give two shits”. Hey baby, I’m laid back in my BarcaLounger, get ready to swoon and make me a sand which.
And seriously guys, get somebody to take a proof of your profile picture. If the only picture you have is a dark, blurry picture of you staring blank faced into the bathroom mirror, just don’t bother. Everything has a camera on it now, walk outside with your buddy, or your aging neighbor, smile and take a picture with your pencil phone. And by the way, take off your mirrored sun glasses and camouflage hat. You look like a serial killer.
Now, I get that this is all very complicated, this whole selling yourself to the world, but if you’re not willing to put in the minimal amount of effort it takes to present yourself in a decent light, why would you expect me to care? And for God sakes, just be honest, don’t say you’re honest, that’s code for ” I don’t know many adjectives and this sounds like a good one”. If you don’t know what to say, or what you’re looking for, sit back from the computer and consider it for a minute. Don’t write, “I don’t know how to describe myself. ” Because, guess what genius, that was obvious from your blurry profile picture. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’re probably going to find a ton of randomness and I don’t really have time to figure out if I’m what you’re looking for. I’m a busy lady, there’s Friends episodes I haven’t watched yet.
I believe the greatest gift online dating gives to us is not finding your soulmate (though I do know people who have done just that). It’s deciding who you are and what you want. I can recognize that it is a process, but no one likes to see the sausage being made, no pun intended. So go through the first couple of steps offline. Then for the love of all things holy, have someone take a look at your profile, edit it. Stop saying you’re honest and laid back, it makes you look like a lazy creep. And do not post a bathroom selfie, this is a numbers game, bathroom selfies should not win anyone a date. Figure out who you are, breathing and honesty can be assumed. Figure out what you want. And if you keep coming up with, ” a maid who likes causal sex” maybe it’s time to do some deep soul searching instead of online dating.

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