Left turn

Left turn

Last night I had a dream that an ex boyfriend and I were making out when he abruptly got up and walked outside saying he wanted to look at the stars. I followed him, naturally, to discover huge crows with human faces out in the trees. My ex didn’t seem to be moved by this sight, but I found it frightening. He laid in the bushes ” watching the stars” , but I knew he was just purposefully ignoring me. Eventually, after one of the crow/humans walked into the roadway, displaying a row of active teats, a passerby took some pictures that I thought were going to be amazing. In the meantime, my ex had put on some Spider-Man PJs and was crawling back toward the door of the house. One of the crow people was standing next to me and I said to him, ” I think he’s leaving me. Will you hold my hand?” He did, dutifully for about 30 seconds.
That is most likely the result of sleeping for 30 hours on and off and not eating, but that is apparently what my brain does to symbolically represent my emotions. A psychologist friend of mine once said to focus on what you are feeling during the dream. I felt rejected, both by my ex and the crow person, afraid of the crow person, who I then had to ask to support me. I also felt excited that the lady got a picture of the wild creature. Finally, I felt regret that it had all fallen apart.
If there’s anything I despise it is regret. Regret means, you had an opportunity and you lost it. But consciously I don’t feel that. Not really. Maybe a little. But I want to believe I’ve done my best, and I’m taking the lessons and learning. Looking back should be a reflection of what happened, what I gained and perhaps what I lost, so I don’t miss that the next time.
Nursing mother crow people and spider man pajama wearing exes can not define my future. Don’t worry, I have no idea what that means. But I’m going to assume it’s part of the healing process and take it from there.


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